Friday, December 14, 2012

To Blog - from a Snowbird point of view, complete with reasons for Not blogging lately


               I know that if you are visiting Rejoiceicons today, you expect I will continue with a discussion about my current icon project, or something I have learned about icons through recent research.  You can see it’s been a while since I last wrote.  I recently read of a noted author who confessed to being very bad about keeping up with his blog, and I certainly understand and agree.  So much of life seems to get in the way, although I can hardly say I am attempting the Great American Novel as this fellow is. 

               But bear with me.

               I have just recently completed the southern trek to my Florida winter home, from New York State.  I was at a local Florida mall today and discovered a display of bonsai plants, which interest me as well as several of my children – the ones who inherited their father’s green thumb.  To let the seller know the level of my commitment to bonsai, I told him I was a snowbird to which he replied, “I won’t hold that against you”.  In retrospect I just realized that this was a pretty snotty thing to say to a lady of my age and dignity.  Among other things, I must be losing my speed on the uptake. 

               But snowbirding, as with age, is not for the sissies among us.  I told an Indian friend that it was a schizophrenic existence and she was immediately shocked that I would admit to the disease, but it is so.  Arrival at one place or the other after 6 months in “the other” means the beginning of a mental re-training period.  Where do I keep the cereal?  What happened to that blue casserole dish?  Why did I bring white slacks south – that’s bringing coals to New Castle.  And at church, wait a minute, I’ll remember that tone if you hum a bar or two.  Shucks, did I forget the rent check for Florida?

               Even before the trek and the retraining comes the thinking and then the packing.  The thinking begins soon after I arrive in one place or the other, when I start a list that is headed “things NOT to bring back!” and the list gets longer and longer.  And something is always forgotten.  As the months go by (we’re talking north or south), all the things I’ve put off and need to take care of, become condensed into a month, then a week, then--- on another “to do” list. 

               The night before The Big Trek South, daughter Mary comes to the rescue and restores sanity and calm.  This has been happening for 8 winters now, and when Carlo approached the Problem the first year, Mary timorously offered her opinion, and for the rest of his life (sadly only a few years) Mary was The Packer.  Sort of Pack Rat becomes Packer.  That girl can squeeze stuff in places a bat couldn’t fit into!

               Oh but the real fun is The Day We Leave – in either direction.  Easily accessible behind the driver’s seat is a special pink plastic bag containing rubber gloves, disinfectant spray, a wet cloth, paper towels – and cat food.  The last thing the night before, we have covered the interior of the car with a 9 x 12 sheet of el cheapo plastic. The only thing exposed is The Litter Box.  In the morning, The Cat is deposited in the back seat next to it and begins to yowl.  We wave good-bye and take off in whichever direction the calendar tells us. 

               The Cat is called Gatsby and for all of his 11 years he has lived by a Rule of 5.  In 5 miles or 5 minutes (his choice) he empties every orifice of his body.  Having everything at the ready, I (because the “we” suddenly isn’t interested) use the contents of the pink bag to eradicate all evidence of the Rule of 5.  In about 30 minutes, The Cat is a contented as the proverbial cow.  We stay overnight at a motel and he guards the car from inside.  Next morning is as if he has never heard of the Rule and we continue peacefully to our destination, with Gatsby curled around the gear shift of the car.   

               I won’t go into the inevitable unpacking and reorientation that occurs after the arrival Here or There, but please forgive and understand the delay since my last blog and I really, really hope to improve.  That’s what something is supposed to do with age, right – improve?

               I promise that my next blog will be completely serious…

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